The fear of...

This morning, I awoke to silence... then the sputter of the heater and I was wrapped like a burrito in my bed.  The warmth of my down comforter, because I do not want the heater to run all night, due to the high price of natural gas, yet, not really knowing the price, just that its very high.  Not only that, but the electricity.  How much coal is being mined for my heater to go off, my night sensor to go off, my cell phone to be recharged at night, and for my kid to play her radio all night long?  How much longer do I stay snuggled in my bed?

I remembered the days, my father would stand over us with a cup of water to get us out of bed and to run outside in the cold without our shoes?  This is considered abuse today but those days we were made to be tough, disciplined and to know that the day doesn't wait for us.

My uncle once said, "water is life!  that is why your father dumped a cup of water on you when you were lazy to get out of bed."  Oh, how true it all sounds today as I am older with two children that sleep until noon sometimes.

So, I jumped out of bed, washed my face and dressed in layers as I checked the temps outside, a cool 20 degrees!  I have never trained for a race in the winter months, I hibernated until March so again, this challenge is a lesson on discipline and my own fears of winter running.

As I walked outside, I noticed my body hasn't caught up to my training yet.  My age is my excuse but I have to get into a new state of mind.  So, I took deep breaths and visualized my run and forgot about how far behind my body was.  I learned to meditate while I lived in Santa Fe for one year, it was the best running year of my life.  Focusing on my breaths, then my legs, arms, stomach, back, shoulders and head, they are aligned and off I go.

My running route is right outside my home, today was a long run of 6 miles according to my training plan, but due to limited running this week, I decided to put in 3 miles and do the 6 miles tomorrow.   The route is there and back, 1.5miles.. the trail is downhill and the thought of running uphill on the way back begin to bother me.  But, I change focus, started thinking about how to engage the faith based groups into our Green movement.   I was thinking, no matter, what beliefs we have, we all honor the creation of our Mother Earth.  Why then do I feel there is a divide?  I wonder how others feel about this topic.  All is that all religion have the same basic understanding of taking care of our environment otherwise, we have much to be judged by.  Will my grandkids and their grandkids have the same opportunity in being able to live on the land or will it be desecrated even more for our greediness of selling our natural resources?

While thinking this, I was already at the turning point of my run and I begin to feel that knot in my tummy, knowing I'll be running uphill against a headwind.  Quickly changing focus, this was a challenge to overcome.. I started chanting, the wind is my friend, the hills are my friends and I'm going to do this.  I passed a couple people walking, with quick steps, probably to keep warm, and to make it to the bus stop on time, assuming they were headed for work somewhere.   The chilly breeze on my face working its way under my knitted cap was quickly freezing up the tiny amount of confidence I had.. I turned into meditation mode again.. focus on the breath, focus on the breath, from the toes, to the knees, to the hips, to the tummy, arms and back and back to the head.  I noticed I was smiling, YES, I was enjoying it.

I made it home, in time to head out to a meeting with the North Leupp Family Farm.  My home away from home, the place that makes me feel so much closer to Mother Earth.  The food that sustains me all year and I look forward to planting season.  The ups and downs of farming but its the place where our hearts belong.  The place our ancestors planted that seed of sustainability.  The place that teaches us we don't need to depend on fast food.  The place that can bring our young and old together to learn from each other.  I can't wait!

The money raised will help in establishing some farmers markets and helping to create local jobs for our children.  This is my intention of running of this half marathon, for the children and their children.

Thank you for your support!

Run Claudia Run